This blog is a WordPress copy of the blog I also host at breakthisleap.blogspot.com. Mostly, I feature things like book reviews and samples of my writing. But you might also find some random thoughts or ideas of mine. That’s why it’s called Reflections, because it’s often my work-through on how I feel about something. My reflection on whatever is bugging me at the moment.
If you’ve poked around on the internet enough, you might have seen my blog title is not the same as my username. My username, for just about everything, is abnormalalien. I thought this up back in the days when I was signing up for my first AOL account. I liked the alliteration and I often felt weird and “alien.” It stuck.
My blog tag BreakThisLeap is an entirely different story. Late in high school, I became obsessed with a certain band. I looked them up on the internet and found out they were into some evil things. But, in my head, it didn’t matter what they did because I liked their music. Kind of like how you love your friends even if you don’t like something they do. They had a song that talked about what would happen if they take “this leap.” I believe the song was talking about suicide. I was in a pretty messed up place at that time. It felt like I was falling through the world and no one cared. Like no one would notice if I was gone. See, I knew that wasn’t true but it didn’t matter what I really knew, only what I felt.
Anyway, I wanted someone to break that fall. And one day, God did. I was already saved. I had given my heart to Jesus as a little girl in Vacation Bible School. But during that dark time, I don’t remember being all that close to God. I was probably what we call backsliding. Or maybe I was just depressed. Probably both. What I do know: one night when I was sleeping I heard a terrifying voice. It screamed the name of that band in my ears. I felt in my heart that the voice was evil.
I threw out those CDs. I stopped listening to that band’s music on YouTube. I separated myself from the evil I had let into my house, into my head, and into my heart. I still struggled with depression but God walked me out of that over time. The point, though, is that God broke my fall. And in fact, it really wasn’t a fall. It was a leap. The leap I took when I found out that the music I was listening to was bad and I loved it anyway.
God broke my leap. And I’m so thankful for it.